Making friends in the work place

As a community care worker you look after the elderly within the comfort of their own homes.

You have limited time to do this racing between the houses within less than a few minutes, don’t forget ringing in so that they can record your time. This is when the job starts, whatever they may need such as assistance in changing, washing etc. Creating friendships with the service users.

With the elderly many are lovely but everyone has illnesses or is struggling with the side effects of aging. This is hard to see as you can relate to many on personal levels and you become incredibly close with these people. They become crucial members of your everyday life. They give you advice, mine was typically on relationships or love which I thoroughly enjoyed and applied to my everyday relationships. Knowing when the person is the one and being told to never give up no matter how hard it gets. My favourite memory was of this one woman, her face would light up the room as soon as I gazed upon her, she always knew how to cheer up my day or make my time at hers go incredibly quickly. The laughter, banter and advice that I received off of this woman has had a great impact on my day to day live. Her marriage story was unique. So I will try and tell this story and give it the justice that it deserves keeping it within her words. To keep this anonymous no names will be used.

“Back in the time of the war everything was different. People lived differently. They danced, they worked hard and lived spontaneously life to the fullest. They truly knew the meaning of living. Now, one major dilemma that I faced was the hard decision of picking between two men, both with the same first name and same initials. One man being a pianist; oh how he knew how to play, he was risky, living on the edge similar to me, oh the fun we used to have, he always smiled and the adventures that we would go on were brilliant. The other man being a quieter soul, charming, incredibly safe and oh how he could make me laugh. The safer bet yes, he was simple, he very worked hard and enjoyed the simplicities of life. His hug was always warm and he could ground my free spirit like no one else could. I felt a type of security and I knew that I was home. That this yes safer bet made my life complete. We balanced each other out and most importantly laughed. If you can laugh through the hard times together, that’s when I knew I was with the one. He took care of me, we had tremendous laughs and a simple life, having wonderful children, grandchildren and now little great-grandchildren. Sadly, he is no longer here, he passed a while back and my life has never been the same. You’d start talking or laughing at the Television expecting to see his wonderful laughing as well as there’s no face anymore. Just an empty chair, just the simple company, with all the children having create lives of their own you expect to grow old with the love of your life. The hardest part is when one of you dies before the other. It’s like a piece of your heart is missing. That’s why I love going in the garden so much, you see he was an avid gardener. We spent ages their together. Now I sit in my chair with a cup of tea looking at our masterpiece. Remembering the hard work, we both put in, the love he used to have working out there. It brings me back to him, knowing that he’s probably up their looking down proudly on this beautiful masterpiece that we have created. He’s my greatest story, my greatest adventure and greatest love of my life. Oh how I wished he was still here… You know I would never change picking him, he was the best choice that I could’ve made and I would still make that choice again. Although he is not with me he still lives on brightly in our children, grand-children and even great-grandchildren. Oh you would’ve loved him, people just loved him, he got along with everyone, his charming nature just captured everyone’s attention. So I say to you now, I know you have a choice to make, go with your heart and head, listen to both and follow your instincts as they could lead you to something great like did mine. When you find this no matter how hard things get promise me you’ll fight for what you want, don’t give up easily and sometimes the simplest of things make the greatest impact on your life. Look beyond the extravagance and look inside at every person that walks into your life, know them and not the exterior person that they want you to see as their inner self might pleasantly surprise you.”

My plea to you following all of this is to always take the time out of your busy schedule to speak to people as you never know what hides underneath and what is truly important to them. You never know it could help your own life or make you appreciate the simplest of things. The elderly can be lonely, they miss loved ones, have been through many hardships and just sometimes want company. The simplicities of lives are sometimes more important than the extravagant ones, they could change your life for the better and make you realise what is truly important in life; That is someone to love and to love you in return. So if you ever find this don’t let it go, fight hard for person you love and weather the storms that will inevitably arise.

So my question to you readers following being told this; Is stable always the right choice?

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The Bachelor Pad

 

The Bachelor pad…

A place that no one should enter!

A horror movie that repeats itself until you remove the disk and input a better one.

This mess seems to organised, he seems to know where everything and anything is.

To the untrained eye it looks like a bomb has gone off.

What to do with this seemly war zone?

Wonder Woman in the shape of an ordinary Lady appears out of nowhere.

This one Man’s Bachelor Pad turns from an organised mess to the trained eye into and organised clean apartment to the untrained eye in the space of days.

After being given a budget of £200; she set off in an unthinkable task and turned this bachelor pad into a home.

Here are the before pictures:

 

Here are the pictures for afterwards:

 

 

 

Falling in love with India

This is not my typical blog post. This journey has by far been a whirlwind since I last spoke to you. After realising my standards, I have finally met someone.

After extravagant dates, firstly around the Venice of Birmingham, my Jamie Oliver experience of home-made cooking, nearly falling in canals, canoeing whilst avoiding a particular white shaped demon from my past in the mirage of a swan, a range of parties one involving a bull. A variety of dates watching Jazz musicians, romantic dinners and lunches. The meetings of one’s families, one meeting in the English countryside and another in one of the busiest cities in India. Yes, India!

We spontaneously decided to take a trip over to India to meet his family, after seeing some spectacular sites such as hidden temples in the middle of Polo forest, grand ancient palaces within Udaipur, hidden lakes of Fateh Sagar, an engagement party, the hectic city of Ahmedabad and meeting of national kabaddi players, independence day at night with Delhi alight in a gorgeous array of lights, experiencing the fast and furious side of India being the traffic, animals roaming the streets like they own the place such as dogs, cows, horses, cheeky monkeys and extravagant elephants. Witnessing the hustle and bustle of the local street markets, an array of delicacy’s; which yes my taste buds have slowly adapted to the severely intense spices and finally the many, many shopping excursions.

My favourite moment of all was our trip to Agra, the Taj Mahal. After getting a private tour around a tour guide took us to the hidden gardens of Agar that overlook the Taj Mahal where one of the best days of my life occurred. This someone decided to get on one knee after asking my dad’s permission and propose. This being just us and our tour guide now turned videographer overlooking the stunning Taj Mahal. A gorgeous ring and question was asked, of course I said yes. After being an emotional wreck for the rest of the day and beyond. Yes, I cried too many times, the first man that I fell love with was in love with me too.

 

 

Near death experience..

My experience of cheating death.

When your life flashed before your eyes you have two choices.

To fight or to give up.

What choice do you make?

When I was 13, I had this type of encounter with death.

 

I was sailing one day with my best friend. We were sailing with very strong winds, coming on a run and my friend on the helm we decided to tack, the wind being so strong that it tipped the boat of which we managed to lean out and right it. Then the sail got caught by a freak wind that capsized the boat over. This sent me flying out of the boat, the sail on top of me and my friend on top of the clear sail. With my friends weight on top of the sail forcing the sail down pushing the boat to sink into a turtle position. With my life jacket pushing me up, the sail pushing me down I was stuck within no mans land. Under the water for a good couple of minutes, my life flashed before my eyes, I felt as if I was under for a very long time. I knew that the only way of getting out was to work my way backwards and work my way up the sail as I had ropes within every other direction, that I may have gotten caught on. I saw my friend so clearly, her frightened  demeanour and  frantically trying to get off the sail as she could see me drowning on the other side. I could see her vividly shouting. I was surprisingly extremely compossed, scared but I knew I had to conserve my energy. With my friend on the sail and not able to get off it surprising helped as it allowed me to push against something, with the lifejacket pushing me up I manipulated this and pushed using my hands, feet and other part of my body to push back and down. This momentum of pushing down and back, with my lifejacket pushing me up towards the sail allowed me to keep a good rhythm to work my way up the sail. I kept on doing this until I lost sight of my friend or which was a sign that I was getting closer to the top of the sail. As I could feel my last bit of oxygen leaving my body I knew that I had one big push to make to get myself out from under the sail. To my relief I escaped just in time with that one big last push. My breath of relief getting to the surface, in shock from what had happened and shattered from the work that I had just put in. I got dragged into the speedboat, give a towel and brought into shore straight away. My mum heard all of this happening from shore via the radio. Little did she know that the missing head would be her daughters. I got taken home and monitored for secondary drowning still extremely shaken up. My friend also shaken up and just like me she relived those moments as nightmares for months on end.

 

This one moment made me realise how much my life meant to me, how much I needed to be thankful for and to life my life the best that I could as you never know when it could be taken away from you. To this day I am very proud of the person that I have shaped into, to fight for life and to be thankful for the people and opportunities that I am blessed to be surrounded with. In result to this, I have been afraid of going under the water for so long as I encountered many flash backs but I conquered that fear last year when I did underwater deep sea lifeguard training. I fully embrace the challenges that I have faced and the strength within myself to overcome these obstacles. It took me 5 years to be fully confident under the water without panicking and now I couldn’t love the water more. When you are afraid or scared of anything, face it head on and see the outcome as you might be surprised at how much strength is within you and how much you can overcome if you set your mind to it.

Love..

What is love to you?

 

What is it’s definition?

 

To define love is one of the most challenging projects of all time. It requires many versions of the theory as there are many kinds of love. Love for ones birth family, ones made family, of friends and of life. The greatest kind of love was for me meeting my partner. This kind of love is rare. Not many get experience a love of this level, that impacts your life incredibly. To have a connection so deep it is unexplainable, that’s it hits you like a tonne of bricks when you least expect it and in the perfect or wrong time but all worth it. All of those hard times worth it for that one moment of impact. Turning your world upside, changing what you thought about love. Love for me hit me just like that. Just like those move types of love, it creeped up on me when I least expected it. I had a longing for his company, a constant excitement and care for this person that I hardly knew. All contagiously to the point where to even contemplate a life without them is just unbearable. You see your future so clearly, like it is a replaying memory of the past over and over again within your mind until it becomes the norm.

 

I met this love love on the 3rd floor of the mailbox, I was reading a song and a gentleman introduced himself, he was nervously trembling but calmly composed and had a gorgeously happy smile with a cheeky edge. After the hello’s he gave me some beautiful flowers which was unexpected. Q restaurant was situated cross so we went in for dinner. We talked for ages to the point where you could see the waitress getting frustrated with the fact that we hadn’t yet ordered. After the beautiful meal, we went for walk along the canal, our mini trip to Venice. For what seemed like a couple of minute’s walk; was actually a good hour. It was all blurred as my eyes were fixated. Musicians were playing along the canal; the scenery was all phenomenally lit with the most spectacular lighting from not just the boats but from the streets too. Our quaint mini trip to Venice was one filled of a passionate unexpected first kiss where sparks flew, of nearly tripping over ones’ feet due to being so taken with my company and finding out a little snippet about this gentleman. Still so composed and radiating confidence that stood before me. Trembling, excitable and a cheeky look that I felt at home with. He walked me back to my car and we said our goodbyes, I craved more time but hoped that I would see him again of which I did.

 

This little moment of impact shaped my life, my priorities and my character changed. It was as if I had an inner glow, like someone had set me on fire. I remember this moment of impact so clearly, like it was yesterday. I was me and he loved me for it, he accepted my inner weirdness, views, morals and outlook on life. He appreciated my passions, hopes and dreams of which gave me the extra confidence to open up and trust in the person before me. To be unapologetically myself and still be loved for it. One of my favourite experiences was this moment and it showed me that I was on the right path.

 

Now this kind of love is something to hold on to because it is an incredibly rare experience. To love, be loved and to have that connection of which is truly remarkable.

 

I re-fall in love with this gentleman every day that I spend with him.

This all came from a risk, of putting myself out there and letting fate play a role within my life. Without this leap of fate I would not have met this wonderful man and have him within my life; so the next time you think about doing something, please do it! As you never know the outcome that could come out of it.

 

 

 

Planning a wedding…

Planning for a wedding…

This is truly one of the most stressful but amazing experiences that you could do. Don’t worry it’s not my wedding, I’m still single… I’ve been on many dates but no one to sweep me off of my feet just yet, there’s plenty of time so what’s the rush. You never know I may meet someone at the wedding, here’s hoping. So after a lot of winding up I finally got asked by my twin sister to be maid of honor. Yes Maid of Honor!!! Not that I’m happy or anything… So back to planning the wedding, yes my sister likes to plan most things by herself but occasionally asks for my help, which i love. Now we all know those opinionated people that you get with there expectations and ideas of what they think the wedding should include. The odd suggestion is all well and good but having lots of expectations and opinions well that’s just provoking an argument. Luckily in this instance there are mature level heads despite the provoking.

If your going into wedding planning make sure you have good foundations with the people around you, as it will certainly test and push any relationship to the brink of despair. In order to keep a good relationship with the bride.

Rules:
1) Listen
2) Don’t say your opinion unless asked
3) If asked look at the bride to see their expressions and body language incase she loves it
4) If you truly dislike something don’t say it but suggest an alternative
5) Keep both yourself and the bride calm
6) Make fun memories
7) Keep the drinks full
8) Let her know how much you want to help
9) Give good advice
10) Keep her happy and act as a distraction if necessary
11) Have a back up suggestion for tv shows or movies to binge incase stress level exceeds normal amounts

My secret to a happy Bride.. I hope you enjoy!

 

Fresher Touring Italy…

Second Post…

University tour as a fresher…

Make sure your with a good bunch of girls, that won’t pressure you to drink 24/7 and respect the words ‘no’. Typically as a fresher you get parents or others that have already been through their first year, be careful some of the 2nd or 3rd years take the authority to their heads, so make sure you go with gives that respect you as ‘friends’ rather than ‘freshers’ and that will be there if anything occurs. The odd initiation ritual if you’re with the right group of girls is fine, you can still have fun and do crazy things but it should be as a group.

My freshers tour consisted of a 26 hour journey each way from the Midlands, England to Rimini, Italy. We drove through the stunning scenery of Switzerland and the fruitful farm lands of France, all the way to our final destination. We had a night dedicated half-way through the tours to initiations, this consisted of a ‘shit mix’ and rules from your parents. I ended up with a full english breakfast taped to my body as well as a nappy. I may of also eaten 3 day pizza without realising it was 3 days old. Throughout this the girls that we were with never forced us to do anything that we didn’t want to do, they were very respectful whilst doing the crazy things that we did, sex position competition etc.

Some of the other university antics consisted of questionable rules such as drinking religiously constantly through the day, to crawling completely naked on the beach to skinny dipping, massaging etc.

The highlight of my tour was waking up for one of the sunrises, to see the place that we were in within its full beauty. Fate also came into play, I met one of my new best friends on the bus. He is absolutely amazing. A new thing also occurred, I found my happiness. I found the thing that makes me feel alive and that is travelling, making a realisation that my relationship was toxic and a negative environment. Having a discussion with my partner at that time my concerns, with the issues still occuring I realised that it wasn’t the right situation to be in, and subsequently we ended things so that he could go and find the things that makes him happy. It was one of the hardest, yet best decisions of my life.

I couldn’t be in a much happier place the only thing missing is a happy relationship, which one day will come. You never know I may of already met him…