Vowing to live life to the fullest..

I’m sure most of you have seen the movie ‘The Vow’.¬†This was like any other chick flick. Something that I loved; like many girls do. Now this movie has more of a significant meaning. I have endured a few head injuries within my childhood, from playing sports. Not one, I would’ve ever thought would’ve had life-impacting consequences.

I am that person that looks at happy couples and craves to be like them, I wanted to open my heart in the hope of finding my happily ever after. After finishing with my long-term partner, I decided to put myself back out there. There was this guy on my university course, we had a great connection; we went on many dates, we laughed and I felt like nothing could go wrong.

One day this all changed, like any ‘lad’ they like to joke around. He decided to dragged me off of a sofa despite knowing that I have a past with head injuries. Now at this moment my head felt like it had just been hit by a bus, I presumed my head had banged on the floor but this wasn’t the case. My doctor describe this as a severe shaking of the brain. This in turn caused another concussion.

I presumed it would be like any other. That I would not fully recover but I would still be able to live my life, similar to the previous year. My gap year consisted of six countries; France, United Arab Emirates, Australia, America, Canada and Wales. I was hoping to travel on a full-time basis. This wasn’t the case, the doctor said it would be a minimum of 2 years recovery (very unlikely), maximum being never. Telling¬†my parents that I was very luckily not to be in hospital with permanent brain damage. He added that one more would put me over the edge, my brain was hanging on a string.

This all occurring from a boy messing around, not knowing the consequences to my life. Lets just say we don’t acknowledge each other’s existence, which I can’t speak for him but is perfect for me. I have happily moved on and now back with my long-term partner, I couldn’t be happier.

This one incident has changed my life in many ways unimaginable. The thing is, I constantly live on the edge. It could’ve happened in hockey… Falling over my own feet… Walking into a door… It just happened this way.

My day-to-day life is a constant daily struggle. Impacting those I care about severely. With the help of my doctor, we’ve put together a coping strategy of which is making life easier. Despite all this, the one thing I continue to do is live my life to the fullest. Yes there’s risks to continuing to play sports, but It could happen at any moment. In a car accident when I’m driving to university or the slightest touch to my head. I try to implement the motto; To live your life scared is no life at all, To live your life with passion, adventure and love is a life worth lived.

The reason why ‘The Vow’ resonates with me, is that this situation could happen to me, very easily.

I could wake up and not remember the last 2 years of my life. To look back at the many pictures and videos of the past 2 years, to not remember the amazing memories that I have experienced. To look at my long-term partner and not know who he is. To still think I’m with an ex-boyfriend… My head is dangling on a thread, this is a very real possibility for me.

In turn it could never happen, I may ‘dodge the bullet’ of this worst case scenario. Although struggling on a day-to-day basis; to encounter those extremes would be truly heart-breaking. If it is going to happen it will.

Living my life to the fullest.. Well that’s what I have been doing and will continue to do. That is why I have created this blog. To remember.. To document… and potentially share with my future self. To show if this extreme was to happen, how much I am loved and how much I love life.


Fresher Touring Italy…

Second Post…

University tour as a fresher…

Make sure your with a good bunch of girls, that won’t pressure you to drink 24/7 and respect the words ‘no’. Typically as a fresher you get parents or others that have already been through their first year, be careful some of the 2nd or 3rd years take the authority to their heads, so make sure you go with gives that respect you as ‘friends’ rather than ‘freshers’ and that will be there if anything occurs. The odd initiation ritual if you’re with the right group of girls is fine, you can still have fun and do crazy things but it should be as a group.

My freshers tour consisted of a 26 hour journey each way from the Midlands, England to Rimini, Italy. We drove through the stunning scenery of Switzerland and the fruitful farm lands of France, all the way to our final destination. We had a night dedicated half-way through the tours to initiations, this consisted of a ‘shit mix’ and rules from your parents. I ended up with a full english breakfast taped to my body as well as a nappy. I may of also eaten 3 day pizza without realising it was 3 days old. Throughout this the girls that we were with never forced us to do anything that we didn’t want to do, they were very respectful whilst doing the crazy things that we did, sex position competition etc.

Some of the other university antics consisted of questionable rules such as drinking religiously constantly through the day, to crawling completely naked on the beach to skinny dipping, massaging etc.

The highlight of my tour was waking up for one of the sunrises, to see the place that we were in within its full beauty. Fate also came into play, I met one of my new best friends on the bus. He is absolutely amazing. A new thing also occurred, I found my happiness. I found the thing that makes me feel alive and that is travelling, making a realisation that my relationship was toxic and a negative environment. Having a discussion with my partner at that time my concerns, with the issues still occuring I realised that it wasn’t the right situation to be in, and subsequently we ended things so that he could go and find the things that makes him happy. It was one of the hardest, yet best decisions of my life.

I couldn’t be in a much happier place the only thing missing is a happy relationship, which one day will come. You never know I may of already met him…